God’s timing is pretty ironic, isn’t it?
If you read my last post, I made it pretty clear that I tend to over-plan and over-think. Then, I made the connection that I do so because I am living out of fear. And if I can control what goes on around me and within my life I’ll avoid pain and rejection. So, I vowed not to over-plan and over-think anymore.
Well, that was surely put to the test.
Last week I received a call from my mother telling me my Uncle had passed away from cancer. I was devastated. We had to quickly book a flight home to NY, so that I could attend the calling hours and funeral this past Tuesday and Wednesday. While the occasion was sad, I was still happy to spend time with my family and celebrate his life.
Because of this unforeseen and saddening occasion, I had to miss quite a few days of work. Obviously, I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. But, I thought to myself, “Hey, there’s a bigger picture outside of myself and my trivial plans. Get over it.” And, I did.
Can I just stop here and point something out? Y’all have so much freaking snow I can’t even believe it. Yes, I know I grew up there, but holy cow I forgot it’s possible to snow so much. There’s a special place in heaven for you saints who decide to live your life in that place. I commend you.
Anyways, after a bittersweet trip home, Thursday came. I had to fly back to Charlotte, and once arriving in Charlotte I went straight into work. Not a big deal, right? Well, I realized I left my running shoes at home.
Okay, that’s a big deal. I’m training for a half marathon. I have a schedule I need to follow. I have long runs I need to run this weekend. I have cross training to do. What the heck am I going to do without my running shoes?
I’ll buy new ones after work, I told myself. No big deal.
Well, I realized once I got to gym after purchasing my new shoes that the pair I bought were too big. Ugh. Okay, I’ll return them tomorrow. Frustrating, but no big deal.
Friday came. I had my whole day planned out so that I could get everything done that I needed and get caught up from missing so much work earlier in the week.
Generally, when I wake up in the mornings I jump out of bed happy to start a new day. Mornings are my favorite.
But, Friday morning seemed a bit different. I felt a tad cynical and was still exhausted from the long week I’d had. Not like me whatsoever.
Anyways, I brushed it off and continued with my morning routine. Before I left for work, I went to take my vitamins, and for whatever reason I choked on them and couldn’t breathe. Both of my roommates were already gone. I freaked, but managed to get them down. Not that big of a deal, I know. But, scary nonetheless, and made me leave the house late.
Then, on my way into work I was mentally preparing for the day ahead, listening to some T-Swift, when a squirrel ran right under my tire. I screamed.
I got to work and pulled into the parking garage, but my parking pass didn’t work, so I couldn’t get in. Of course. Finally, a fellow coworker helped me.
What a crazy morning, I thought to myself.
Once I got into the building, I walked into the office ready to tackle the day only to find out that the construction workers had cut a wrong cord and our power/internet was out. I couldn’t get anything done for a solid two hours. This is not how I imagined this morning playing out.
In case you didn’t know, I’m a recruiter for a staffing company. I was working with a candidate who had landed a job and was supposed to start on Monday. After having him come in to do all of his paperwork in the morning, I got a call telling me he can no longer start the job. The funding was cut. The position was being put on hold.
Are you kidding me!?
The day dragged on, as I attempted to get caught up.
Once five hit, I raced out the door to head to the running store in order to exchange my shoes. The man at the store helped me find a better pair. But, he told me that the half size smaller was probably going to be too small once I started running. Don’t tell me what to do, mister. I know my feet, I said to myself, and proceeded to buy the half size smaller shoes.
Thrilled to finally have a pair of running shoes that fit and to burn off the steam from the day, I headed to the gym. About a half mile in on the treadmill, my feet began to go numb.
My shoes were too small.
I left the gym crying.
God, WHY is this day so terrible?
Everything I had planned for Friday fell apart. Not one thing happened the way I thought it was supposed to. After returning home from the gym, I unpacked my suitcase and went to bed. Good riddance, Friday.
So, here I am today. Saturday morning. Still sitting in bed. Still drinking my coffee. And still no shoes to do my Saturday morning run with.
I may have spoken too quickly and too confidently in my last post about not planning, but hey, God wanted to put what I had said to the test, and He sure did. I wrote my last post and proceeded to over-plan anyway, only to be faced with a sharp dose of reality.
Today, I’ll try once again to get a pair of shoes that fit.
If it’s part of God’s plan, that is, because I’m so over planning.