This post has been on my heart for a long time and it’s taken a while to come to fruition. Social media is a tricky thing, and since knowing this was a topic I wanted to cover on here, I’ve become ever more cognizant of the traps it can lay in my own mind. And the beauty it can bring.
That Time I Was A Creeper On A Plane
A couple weeks ago, I was on a flight out of Charlotte. As I mentioned above, this post has been on my mind for a while. I had a plethora of notes and thoughts, and was ready to dive in and birth this baby (sorry, had to).
As I was waiting for the plane to take off, I noticed a girl in the seat diagonally in front of me on her Instagram. I wasn’t intentionally trying to creep on her, but I noticed she was zooming in and out on the face of a pretty girl with long blonde hair that wistfully draped over her shoulders and a full face of make-up (though natural).
“Why is she doing that?” I asked myself. “Why is she over-analyzing that picture?” The girl on the plane also had long blonde hair, but it was pulled into an effortless pony tail. She was wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and no make up. She wasn’t the girl in the picture.
“Do you think she’s comparing herself to that girl in the picture?” I questioned in dismay. “Do you think she’s trying to find at least one blemish to make herself think this girl isn’t perfect?” I began feeling sad and like I needed to intervene on her presumed thought pattern. “No! Girl, don’t fall into he comparison trap. You got this! You’re beautiful!”
Then, I noticed she’d go back to her “likes and comments” feed and refresh it, and every time she did new likes and comments came flooding in.
“Wait a second… that picture is her!” I felt, well, like a creepy idiot, but also intrigued. And learned a few things from this simple one-sided interaction:
- Maria jumps to conclusions way too quickly.
- Not everything we post is a depiction of reality.
- It’s true that we get a high from the likes and comments that come through after we post.
Okay, I’m going to move on to another thought, because now I feel all weird inside for sharing with you my creeper tendencies.
Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear
When I was a little girl and was finally allowed to sit in the front seat, I spent an embarrassingly long amount of time reading and re-reading the little caption on the passenger side mirror that says:
“Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”
For some reason, it fascinated me. How could a mirror, an object that is supposed to be a reflection of what’s in front of (or in this case, behind) you be closer than it actually is? What’s the point? Don’t these car companies know how to make mirrors that reflect real life?
Upon some further research, I learned that because of the mirrors’ convexity, it gives a larger field of view, but in turn makes objects look further away than they really are. And I succumbed to the notion that I’d have to do more work in order to know how close the cars behind me were.
So What’s My Point?
Hopefully, you’ve caught on to a common theme between these two little anecdotes. What we see isn’t always reality. And in a nutshell, that’s social media. It’s the highlight reel of our lives. For the most part. Sometimes we use it to voice our concerns and share our frustrations, but the thing is we only see what’s shared at that moment. We don’t feel the feelings the person felt prior to sharing, and we don’t typically get a follow up post to let us know how things worked out. We get one tiny glimpse into someone’s life.
But sometimes we place a lot of weight on that tiny glimpse. Even though I’m extremely cognizant of how and when I consume social media (I’ll get to that in a bit), there are times I feel angry, jealous, insecure after what I see on social media. And when I become aware of those feelings, I have to mentally backpedal away from the platform and reaffirm myself. Which, when you’re tired or stressed, takes a lot of mental work.
When Do I Use Social Media? And How Do I Keep Myself In Check?
I’ve gone through my highs and lows with social media and it’s taken a lot of hard work to learn when I should and shouldn’t use it (am I the only one who thinks this much about social media…?).
When I don’t engage on social media:
- When I’m feeling low
- When I’m feeling anxious
- When I’m tired
- When I’m trying to focus
- When I’m around other people
- Right when I wake up
When I do engage on social media:
- After a run
- When I have something relevant/important to share
- When I’m feeling happy, confident, encouraged
Know thyself. Know what triggers you. If partaking in social media leaves you feeling down and out, don’t do it.
According to this article, “Facebook … reported a survey by the University of California San Diego and Yale. It found that people who opened at least four times as many links as average users – or who “liked” twice as many posts – reported worse mental health than average.”
Because we’re constantly connected and constantly have a feed of perfectly curated pictures staring bluntly at us at all hours, we can very easily fall into the self-comparison trap. We can very easily equate our worth and success to the number of followers and the number of likes we get.
I’m Speaking From Experience
I’m sharing this with you, because I’ve been there. And still find myself there every once in a while. I find myself comparing the number of followers I have to another person, asking myself, “What am I doing wrong?”
But then I remind myself, 1. I’m not doing anything wrong, 2. it’s the impact my work makes, not the mass amount of people it reaches, 3. these social media platforms have a lifespan.
Oh yeah, that’s the other thing. The social media world as we know it will be completely different in 5, 10, 20 years, so don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. Life as an Instagram star sounds fun… but it’s not sustainable. Though, maybe I’ll be proven wrong.
Part II
Stay tuned for Part II, where I share more research, how to navigate social media in a healthy way, and feedback from some RunningMyselfTogether readers.
What are your thoughts on social media? Reach out and let’s talk!
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