God Has You Right Where He Needs You

You may remember a couple years ago I wrote a formal apology to everyone who reads my blog. You can find it here: I’m Sorry, I’ve Been Lying to You. Basically, I shared why, after countless therapy sessions and years in recovery, I felt depressed, but concealed it.

And here we are again.

No, no. I’m not depressed. I’m actually doing really, really well. I see life in a new, beautiful light, even on the tough days. But there is something tugging at my heart that needs to be shared. So here we go:

RunningMyselfTo…gether?

I started RunningMyselfTogether because I wanted to share my story and I REALLY love writing. Over the years this little blog has grown, little by little. And I’ve gotten to do some pretty cool things (like be a guest on podcasts, webinars, write guest blogs, try cool products, interview interesting people, and so much more). But also, as the years have gone by, I’ve felt this unnecessary pressure to keep up with the rat race that is social media. The race to more followers and to making a bigger impact and the belief that making a difference means influencing a lot of people. 

Over the years, I’ve watched as the blogging world has gone from personal, online journals to SEO, and content marketing, and social media strategy, and mailing lists, and keywords, and perfectly captured pictures.

But that isn’t always my reality. Ever, really… 

There are good days and there are bad days. There are days I want to run away from all obligations. There are days I just want to cry. There are days I want to sing a new song unto the Lord. There are days I want to hug every person I see. 

And that can make writing a blog like this really tough. 

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work

via GIPHY

But what makes life even harder, is when we take what we love and we make it work. That is, we make it our jobs. And that’s exactly what I find myself doing sometimes with RunningMyselfTogether. I compare my success to others. I cringe as I watch people unfollow me. I spend a lot of my free time figuring out how to turn this into something. Into what, you may ask? I’m not so sure… 

So the other day, in a moment of self-induced sadness, I said to my boyfriend, “I’M FAILING AT EVERYTHING!” 

“What are you talking about?” He said in reply. 

“I keep losing followers and I feel all this pressure to post regularly and keep up with algorithms, which I don’t even really understand and everyone else seems like they know what they’re doing but I’m so lost and so confused and I just want to know where God is calling me,” I said, impressively all in one breath. 

“Just write. Stop worrying about all of that stuff. You’re a writer. Just write.”

I paused. “You are RIGHT. I’ve turned what I love into work. I did that with running and now I’ve done that with writing.” 

—

His words opened my eyes. God puts passions on our hearts for a reason. And sometimes we’re lucky enough to turn those passions into our day jobs. And sometimes we continue on using our passions to evoke change and inspire others and help bring those around us peace without getting paid for it. And that’s really cool too.

So, if you’re feeling like you’re not successful or you’re lost and confused about where God is calling you, remember, (and I quote my boyfriend here):

“God has you right where He needs you. You wouldn’t be right here if He needed you somewhere else.”