I’m sitting at a coffee shop early in the morning before heading to my day job. It’s my favorite little coffee shop. Not because it’s charming. It’s actually pretty cluttered with random, crooked, mismatched art for sale, stacks of cards that you’d see near the checkout line at a grocery store, and a group of older men who peck at their phones each morning and chit chat about the weather.
But the coffee is strong and the pony-tailed man who owns the shop greets me with a smile, each time acting like I’m not a regular.
And that’s why I like it here. I can hide in a corner surrounded by tacky art and mindless chatter and get my work done.
Have I created a great life?
On my way into the coffee shop this morning, I saw a post on Instagram that said, “Get into the habit of asking yourself, ‘Does this support the life I’m trying to create?’”
I’ve seen it before. I think I’ve even posted it before. And instinctually my response typically is, “Yes, I have created a great life.” But I’m starting to wonder if there’s more. Not more that I should be doing, but something different.
What I mean by that is, I preach and practice taking care of mind, body, and soul, and I do my best to fulfill that each day. But there is something that still tugs at my heart. “Will this tugging ever go away?” I’ve asked myself for years and years since I was a little girl.
The Tug
Maybe it’s a side effect of anxiety (and part of it most likely is), but I do think it goes far beyond anxiety. I’ve felt this tugging from God to spend more time with Him. And often my response is, “I am! I pray every day. And look at the work I’m doing for You!”
But He wants to spend real time with me. And it’s becoming more and more apparent. And I want to spend real time with Him. Not just prayer time in the morning or a rosary at night. No, deep prayer, where I sit in the adoration chapel and just BE with Him. Time where I’m immersed in the Word, letting Scripture fill my mind and heart. Time where I’m gloriously praising and worshipping Him in Mass.
I do all these things now. But there is often a distraction of some sort.
And that distraction is my phone. Primarily, social media.
Social Media, The Sometimes Bane of My Existence
Here’s what I’ve noticed recently…
I wake up say a quick prayer, turn to social media.
When I’m bored, I turn to social media.
When I feel like I’ve focused on something for just enough time, I lose focus and turn to social media.
WHEN I WATCH TV, I TURN TO SOCIAL MEDIA (as if one screen isn’t enough).
And I see it all around me, too. Sitting on the couch with friends, watching a movie, and everyone is on their phones. Go out to dinner… families… on their phones. Take a look at those around you while you’re driving, lots are on their phones.
People walking on the sidewalk… on their phones. People running… ON THEIR PHONES.
I can’t take it anymore. I need a healthier relationship with social media and my phone.
Ultimately, I want to get back to who I am, without having to constantly share who I am on social media. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE this community. And it isn’t going away. I just need a healthier relationship with these platforms. I need boundaries. I need space to be creative. To read. To write.
To give you the content you’ve been asking for, but I’ve been “so busy” and distracted I haven’t been able to sit down and just do it.
So, I’m taking some time to really focus on Advent, plan for 2020, spend much more time with Jesus and write, write, write.
I’ll still be sharing content here and randomly on social media when a new piece of content goes live or there is a product/offering to promote.
But I won’t be actively involved until the new year.
How to Get in Touch
Email me! maria@runningmyselftogether.com
I love email. It’s seriously my favorite, and I do my best to respond to all emails, DMs, etc. But I’ll just be focusing on emails for the time being.
Join my mailing list! I’ll be ramping up my newsletter again, and you’ll be able to receive all the content and good things there!
Meet me in prayer. And I’ll be praying for you, my friends.
This post has inspired me to examine my own social-media habits. I have realized that social media almost always distracts me from the things I want to do and believe God is calling me to do, providing distraction in the moment but ultimately making me less happy. I took Facebook and Instagram off my phone a few weeks ago and have only glanced at Facebook once once every week or so, logging out after each “check-in.” This has helped me make time to pursue activities that are more enriching and satisfying. I have also found myself actively seeking opportunities to be with other people in real life, which I believe is much healthier and enjoyable in the long run.
So, thanks for this post! By sharing your insights, you are helping others to live better too.