I read a Jordan Peterson quote today that encapsulates everything I’ve been experiencing in my life recently.
“Leaving everything hidden in the fog because you are afraid of the danger you may find there will be of little help when fate forces you to run headlong toward what you refused to see.”
Read that quote again. Let it sit with you for a minute. Don’t worry, I’ll do it too, with you.
Did you feel that gut punch too? I did.
Recently, I had to “run headlong toward what [I] refused to see.” I ended a long term relationship – one that I thought was going to end in marriage. It wasn’t an easy decision. It was one that I was leaving “hidden in the fog,” as I ignored the warning signs and gut feeling that was growing stronger every single day.
I know. You all want the details. I don’t feel comfortable sharing them, because it’s a personal matter and I care about the other person. We’re both healing (albeit, independently) as we now watch the Lord work in our separate lives and paint separate futures.
We’ve all been there, right? Where we’ve had to make a serious, big decision that scares us. One that will surely cause suffering. It’s never easy. It’s really, really hard, actually, because we know it’s going to hurt. We know there will be a grieving process, and we don’t know what the other side holds.
But now that I’m months removed from the situation, I’m able to look back with a bit clearer vision.
Leading up to that point, I was praying many, many prayers of surrender. “Lord, if you don’t want this for me, please take it away and make it very obvious that You don’t want it for me.”
I don’t know if that’s the best prayer to pray, but I prayed it, because those were the only words I could form that led to a total act of surrender.
He made His will known. And while the decision was not an easy one, and it surely hurt, the hurt is healing, and I can see God’s blessings pouring into my life.
We can do hard things. I know it’s easy to stay in the status quo. I know it’s comfortable to keep doing what feels familiar. But sometimes, God calls us to bigger things, and the only way to get there is to leave behind past lives.
I’ve had to do that many times – with relationships, friendships, jobs, etc. – and it’s never easy. But it’s always worth it. And He will give us the grace to get through it.
So, my prayer for you, as you’re in this period of waiting and discernment, is that you’re able to fully surrender your will to His. I can promise you that His desire and plan for your life is far better than anything you can surmise. I promise you that.
Thank you for letting me share my heart. It means more than you know.
